


Saying What we don't Mean

by SleepyxAsh



Series: The Hectic Lives of Madara and Tobirama [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Car Wreck, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Modern AU, Snow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-04 11:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13363398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyxAsh/pseuds/SleepyxAsh
Summary: Madara and his housemate Tobirama never get along, but when Hashirama is gone for a weekend, an argument breaks out. Hurtful things are said, and when Madara tries to leave, his car slips on black ice and he crashes in a ditch. Will they get the chance to make things right?





	1. Chapter 1

Madara hated the cold more than any other time of year. It was always damp and left a chill in his bones that he couldn’t seem to fully get rid of until spring finally reared its head. Not to mention that this sort of snowy weather brought back the worst sort of memories from the back of his mind and shoved them straight in the present. One of his roommates, Hashirama Senju, tried his best to be overbearing in winter, as though desperate to change his mind about the entire season. As much as Madara appreciated the thought of it—Hashirama meant no harm at all; he was just trying to be a good best friend—it was annoying and really did make things worse most of the time. Just because he appreciated it, didn’t mean that he wasn’t happy to have a weekend reprieve from the eccentric idiot. Hashirama had taken off hours ago to go out of state and visit his girlfriend, Mito Uzumaki.

That meant that he’d been by himself in the large, two-story house that Hashirama had inherited from his father, at least he would be for a little while. He wasn’t expecting Tobirama home for at least two more hours, which might be a good thing. They’d never managed to get along very well anyway. Madara’s temper was too short, and Tobirama was too much of a smartass.

Both of them skirted around each other carefully most of the time, knowing that it upset Hashirama when they fought, but clashing eventually was unavoidable. This weekend was probably going to be that exact case since Hashirama wasn’t going to be there. Neither of them would have to feel guilty about making the too-sensitive man fall into a state of overly dramatic depression that may or may not involve tears.

He had just walked through the door, shivering. It had been snowing on and off all day, and the horrid white substance was now packed on the ground, and it was still falling down from the sky. The pace was sedate, so there was no trouble navigating his way home, but it was still uncomfortable. He hated driving in the snow.

He quickly removed his soaked jacket and his suit coat, moving to his room to get changed, settling into a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants almost immediately, wanting to get warm. The heat was already running on full-blast in the house, but he still felt cold. Part of him wanted to start a fire in the fireplace and sit in front of it, but he was too tired to clean it out first. Settling for a blanket, he just walked back into the living room and settled himself on the couch, covered up. He was still shivering as he waited for his body temperature to return to normal.

“I need to get the heat fixed in my car,” he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes. A few moments later, he was drifting off into a light slumber.

 

SLAM!

Madara flinched as he woke up, throwing off his blanket and getting to his feet. He looked around wearily, wondering what the hell was going on.

“You’re an asshole. Did you know that?”

Madara slowly turned toward the entry way, it was the direction that Tobirama’s angry voice had come from. Sure enough, the younger brother of his best friend was standing in front of the door, that Madara was certain that he just slammed. He was shivering and staring at him with a positively murderous gaze.

He just stared at him, insulted by the name-calling and confused at the same time. He’d just gotten in, he was certain. He hadn’t been asleep for that long, and all he’d done since he’d gotten to the house was sleep! There was no way that he’d managed to do something wrong. Normally, he was aware of what he’d done to piss the younger off, so it unsettled him that he’d done so unintentionally.

“I’m aware that you’ve called me that more times than I care to count,” Madara replied slowly, rubbing at his eyes. He looked at Tobirama again, this time the view of his angry face was sharper. “Can I ask what I’m such an asshole for this time?”

“It’s snowing outside, and it’s cold as hell!” Tobirama snapped.

“Well, I can’t really control the weather,” Madara informed him dryly. “Did you think I caused all of this? The heat’s not working in my car, you know. I would have made it a nice seventy degrees outside if I had been able to.”

“Shut up,” Tobirama snapped at him. “I know you can’t control the weather, you idiot! Your junk and your car are in the garage. Hashirama’s van is taking up all of the space in the front yard. You knew that I’d have to park in the back, and you didn’t even have the common decency to unlock the back door! The porch’s steps haven’t been salted yet, which was something that I had to find out the hard way! All of my assignments that I was holding fell into the snow, and now I can barely read them because all of the ink is running!”

Madara was silent, waiting for Tobirama to finish his rant. His brain was quickly waking back up, and he felt concern clench in his gut. Just because he and Tobirama didn’t get along most of the time didn’t mean that he hated the man. It was quite the opposite actually. He liked Tobirama a lot; their personalities clashed a bit too much for them to be any closer however.

“Are you alright?” Madara inquired calmly, moving around the couch and walking toward the entryway. “Did you hit your head when you fell?”

“I’m fine,” Tobirama snapped at him. “But that’s not the point, Uchiha! All of my assignments are—”

“Screw your assignments, Senju,” Madara cut him off, feeling the beginning of aggravation starting to squirm in his gut. “I asked you if you hit your head!” Tobirama had a bad habit of brushing off his injuries as though they were unimportant, which always made Madara weary when something happened to him. He’d feel awful if Tobirama got hurt because of his own pigheadedness.

“Why should you even care about that?” Tobirama demanded angrily, brushing past Madara and throwing his bag on the couch next to Madara’s blanket. “You obviously didn’t care about it when you didn’t salt the fucking steps!”

Feeling a bit more of his patience lessening, Madara coolly reminded him, “I’m not the only one that lives here, and you’re not the only one that had to leave this morning. You could have done it too.”

Tobirama was in his last year of university for some sort of complicated engineering degree that Madara wanted no part of, and Madara had a job at the local law firm. Both of them worked very hard and long hours, and it ended with them being grumpier than normal on the more taxing days, especially when things didn’t go as planned…such as taking a dive down the stairs or being bitched at as soon as your housemate got home.

“I was running late for an exam,” Tobirama snapped at him. “I had to rush out this morning, and I know that you left later than I did! I don’t understand why you didn’t check beforehand. You had way more time than me!”

“No, I didn’t,” Madara informed him. “I was on the phone with a client first thing this morning, which I why I left so late. I had no time to check and see if the person that wasn’t busy from the moment that they opened their eyes had bothered to do what was expected of them! I notice that you never bothered to send me a text and tell me that you hadn’t been able to do it! I got in, changed and sat down. I didn’t know that I was going to fall asleep. You’ll have to excuse me for not rushing to unlock the back door for someone that wasn’t going to be home for another three hours! That’s a good way to get a break-in. It’s like inviting thieves into your home and giving away your things. Don’t worry, though. Next time, I’ll be sure to be more considerate of you!”

“Please,” Tobirama growled back. “I don’t think you even know what that word means. You’re the most inconsiderate, lazy, slacking jerk that I’ve ever met.” Madara hated the way that Tobirama was during an argument. He was still as calm and collected as ever while he spoke, which pissed Madara off even more. He gave off the feeling that he was yelling, though he never raised his voice. He certainly didn’t have to yell to raise Madara’s blood pressure to unsafe heights.

 _Don’t take the bait,_ Madara coached himself as indignation started spreading through his body like red, hot flames. _Do_ not _take the bait! He wants you to get mad so that you’re the unreasonable one!_ That information was true enough, but it didn’t help at all. It didn’t matter who was the reasonable one and who was not. When Madara got angry, especially with Tobirama, logic started to feel irrelevant, and all he wanted to do was hurt someone.

“ _I’m_ the lazy one?” Madara questioned him incredulously. He marched back around to couch, toward Tobirama. “The last time that I checked, you stay holed up in your room all the damn time, unless you’re coming out to bitch at me! I’ve been pretty damn considerate over the past year, letting you get away with not cleaning your portion of the house and not cooking any meals! Hashirama and I have been taking care of it all after we get off of work, which isn’t exactly easy, because we both know that you have a tough workload. That really shouldn’t matter though, because all of our workloads are hard! Hashirama just wants to baby you because you’re the last brother that he has! You take advantage of it, soaking up all of the freeloading that you can while you’re still with your gullible older brother!”

Tobirama visibly flinched at Madara’s words, and it was amazing to watch. A little more than a year ago, Tobirama’s younger brothers Itama and Kawarama Senju had both died in a freak car accident. It had made the entire family fall into a horrible depression that they had just recovered from a few months previously. The brothers were a tender subject that would take very many years of grieving to start casually speaking about. They had been like brothers to Madara as well, and mentioning them left a bitter taste on his tongue, but he knew that it was nothing compared to the pain that the Senju’s felt. He knew that he’d struck a horribly low blow on Tobirama by bringing that up, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment. Not when the younger man had been the one to start this argument. He’d definitely feel like a total ass about it later, though.

“If anyone is taking advantage of Hashirama, it’s you,” Tobirama growled at him. “You’ve been doing it since our childhood. You always came over and mooched off us for weeks at a time. You never went home, and Hashirama always said it was because your family sucked. I’m sure that they did. What happened to the spoiled little Uchiha? Did they take away your PlayStation because you wouldn’t clean your room?”

Madara froze at that, rage boiling from his veins. “No,” he said coldly. He’d be damned before someone as pampered as Tobirama was going to speak to him like that. He turned around and pulled his shirt over his head. He knew that the younger man would see the map of scars that ran across his skin very clearly. It was impossible not to see the grotesque image that they created. “This is what they did when they were angry at me.”

He clenched his eyes shut as memories of his drunken parents telling him that he was a demon child and needed to be taught a lesson. He teeth rubbed together at the pain that it had caused when a knife had slid across his skin. Hashirama’s parents had wanted to call the police, but Madara had begged them not to. Hashirama had been the only light in his life, and he was terrified of the thought of it being taken away. Luckily, Hashirama’s mother had been a nurse and was able to properly bandage his wounds.

When he pulled himself out of those dark memories, he realized that silence rang through the room. Regret and anxiety churned in his gut, making him nauseous. _Why did you show him that?_ Madara asked himself silently as he quickly lowered his shirt back down. He swallowed back a grimace as he just stood still. He didn’t want to turn around and see the damnable pity in Tobirama’s red eyes. Hashirama had been the only person to neve show him any pity over what happened. Sure, the older brother had been angry over the situation, but he’d never pitied Madara. He’d just offered him a safe haven to go to when he felt like everything was turning into too much for him.

“I’m leaving,” Madara said abruptly. He rushed back around the couch and snatched his keys off the wall. He hurried out of the door, cursing as the cold hit him. He hadn’t even thought to bring a jacket. He rushed down the steps, being careful not to slip and darted to the garage. He’d stay with Izuna for a few days until things blew over. Honestly, he didn’t know how he would be able to face Tobirama again after that.

The snow was starting to fall down even more now, but Madara didn’t pay any attention to that as his mind continued to reel. He was kicking himself and he felt his throat close slightly due to panic.

How? How had he been so damn stupid?! He quickly put the car into reverse and drove out of the garage. He saw Tobirama in the driveway, his face no longer blank. He looked almost panicked. He waved at him, trying to get him to stop, but Madara just ignored it, driving around him and out of the yard. He didn’t look back, not wanting to know what the younger man was going to do. Hopefully, he would just go back into the house and get warm.

Madara sighed and tried his best to relax in the leather seat of his Lexus, but it was hard when it was so cold. His teeth were chattering, and his fingers were numb on the steering wheel. It probably would have been a better idea to take Hashirama’s van, but it was too late now. There was no way that he was going back.

He turned out of the neighborhood road and onto the highway. The entire road was deserted, and the snow was getting even worse. He squinted through his windshield, cursing at the fact that he could barely see five feet in front of his car. He leaned forward a little, hoping that a different angle would help…of course it didn’t.

He cursed. It would be a better idea to just pull over. Driving like this was insane. No matter how upset he was, he wasn’t irrational. He slowly pressed his foot on the breaks, prepared to slowly come to a stop, when he felt the vehicle loose traction. He cursed himself for still being so distracted. He was going too fast, and his instinct to slam on the break had already settled in. He felt the wheels lock and the car started swerving. The last thing that he remembered was seeing a large ditch being lit up by the headlights of his car.


	2. Chapter 2

Tobirama was sitting on the sofa in the living room with his head in his hands for what felt like hours. His mind was racing with questions. Most of them circled around the accusing thought of _How the hell could you be so oblivious?_ While it was true that Tobirama was more prone to ignoring most people entirely, this was _Madara_. He definitely wasn’t a stranger. Tobirama didn’t bother to argue with strangers, after all. So that fact that he didn’t pay attention a lot of the time wasn’t an excuse at all.

His mind was unhelpfully giving him mental images of his past with Madara, showing him eyes that now looked haunted. The split-second jumps that the Uchiha constantly made at loud noises. The sadness on his face whenever he had to go home. He remembered the way that Madara would constantly thank his mother and father for allowing him to stay over. He could see the concerned looks that his parents always casted Madara’s way.

He felt himself getting angrier and angrier now that the symptoms were so blaringly obvious. If he hadn’t been so busy trying to convince himself that he felt nothing at all for the insufferable Uchiha, he probably would have paid closer attention and would have connected the dots himself a long time ago.

He sighed, hating how bitter regret tasted on his tongue, as he looked up wearily at the wall clock. Madara had been gone for well over two hours. He bit his lip uncertainly. The only person’s house that he would have gone to when he was this upset would be his younger brother, Izuna. Tobirama and Izuna were on pretty great terms, but there was a good chance that the younger Uchiha was upset with him as well. Even if that was so, Tobirama figured that being cursed out by him would be worth knowing how Madara was doing.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, clicked on Izuna’s number and listened to the phone ring. He picked up after a few moments.

“Hello,” came the lazy greeting. Tobirama blinked in confusion and pulled the phone away from his ear quickly to make sure that he hadn’t dialed the wrong number. He saw that the contact name read _Izuna._

“You’re not angry?” Tobirama asked incredulously right after he brought the phone back to his ear.

“Why would I be angry?” Izuna asked curiously. “Did Toka play another prank on me? I swear, that girl is so vindictive. All I said was that her—”

“I don’t know about that, and I don’t really care about what you said to my cousin,” Tobirama cut him off. “Have you heard from Madara?”

“No,” Izuna said slowly. “Should I have? Is there something wrong?”

“We got into an argument earlier,” Tobirama said quietly. “I…I made some assumptions that I shouldn’t have, and it really upset him. He showed me…something, and then he left.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Tobirama started tapping his foot in impatience. After a few moments, Izuna finally spoke. His voice was quiet and his tone sad. “He showed you his back, didn’t he?”

Tobirama went to answer, but the words got caught in his throat as he memory of the grotesque map of skin flashed in his head. His silence was answer enough for Izuna, who sighed. “How long has he been gone? It’s snowing pretty bad outside, he probably just pulled over on the road and waited for it to slow down before going again.”

“Two hours,” Tobirama replied. “I’d call him to check on him, but I know that he isn’t going to answer me. His face when he left was…I don’t even know how to describe it, Uchiha. He’s not going to want to talk to me for some time. Can you just make sure that he’s alright and let me know?”

“Yeah,” Izuna said. “I’ll call him right now.”

“Thank you,” Tobirama said before he hung up and put his phone down on the couch next to him. He felt his entire body tense up in anticipation while he waited for Izuna to call him back.

He just sighed and pushed himself to his feet, knowing that he was just going to drive himself insane if he just sat there and did nothing but wait. He slid his phone into his pocket and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a pack of ramen noodles out of the cupboard as he walked. His stomach was squirming too much to eat, but he figured that he’d be alright after Izuna called him and said that Madara was fine.

It was just taking so long because Madara was telling Izuna about his problems and the younger was trying to comfort him. He put some water inside of the pot as he was trying to convince himself of this and put it on the stove putting the noodles inside as well. He leaned against the counter and pulled his phone out anxiously, silently demanding that Izuna call him back and give him a report on what was going on.

As if the other man heard his pleas, his phone rang with Izuna’s caller ID. He immediately answered it and put it to his ear.

Before he could say anything at all, Izuna’s worried tone hit his ears. “He’s not answering. I don’t know what’s going on. The phone keeps going to voicemail.”

Feeling his resolve harden in his chest, he said, “You stay where you are. The snow is falling too heavily for you to drive. It started snowing pretty heavily before he left. If he pulled over, it’ll be closer to where I’m at. I’ll go and look for him.”

“You just said that it’s snowing too—”

“I’ll walk if I have to,” Tobirama told him. “This is my fault, and I’m going to fix it.”

Silence rang through the phone for a moment before Izuna sighed. “Thank you, Tobirama. Please be careful. I don’t think that Madara would be able to forgive himself if something happened to you.”

“I’ll be fine, just—” his phone beeped, and he cut himself off as he pulled it away from his ear and looked at the screen as it lit back up. His brother was calling.

He frowned, but told Izuna that he was going to put him on hold for a moment. There was a good chance that Madara had called Hashirama as well. Tobirama wondered why he hadn’t thought of that before. He answered his brother. “Hello,” he said.

“Tobirama,” Hashirama sounded as though he was in tears. At that noise alone, his heart clenched and his entire body went cold. There was no way that Madara’s disappearance and refusal to answer the phone along with Hashirama’s tone was a mere coincidence.

“What’s happened?” Tobirama demanded, straightening up.

“Madara’s at the hospital. He’s been in a wreck.”

Tobirama’s breath caught in his throat. He tried to speak, but no sound was coming out again. Dread knotted his stomach up as concern made him feel as though he was going to throw up a lunch that he hadn’t eaten.

“What?” he finally managed to croak out.

“He’s unconscious right now, and his body temperature is dangerously low. I tried to get ahold of Izuna, but he won’t answer his phone. C-can you see if you can get ahold of him for me? I don’t know what to do! I’m so far away, and he needs someone with him!”

“How did they even know to call you?” Tobirama demanded.

“One of the men seemed to recognize him as the grumpy guy that takes me my lunch on the days that I forget it,” Hashirama said as he sniffled.

That meant that he was at the hospital that Hashirama was interning at. It wasn’t very far away, but it would be hell to walk. He knew that he didn’t have much of a choice, however. He just sighed and said, “I’ll be sure to tell Izuna immediately, and I’m going to get over to the hospital and see him. Don’t worry about it, big brother. I’ll make sure that he’s not alone.”

“Are you sure?” Hashirama asked, sounding concerned. “You and Madara don’t really get along all that well.”

“I’m sure,” Tobirama told him. “I’m not going to let him be alone like that.” He wanted to tell Hashirama that it was his fault anyway, but he kept that to himself. It wasn’t something that he wanted to tell his over-emotional brother over the phone, anyway. If anything, that part of the issue would put him in an even worse state.

“Thank you so much, Tobirama,” Hashirama said tearfully.

“No problem,” Tobirama replied. “Let me get off the phone with you and talk to Izuna.”

“Alright,” Hashirama said. “Goodbye.”

“Bye,” Tobirama said curtly before he ended his call with Hashirama and clicked back over to his call with Izuna. “I’m back,” he said finally. “It was Hashirama.”

“He tried to call me while I was talking to you,” Izuna told him. “I ignored it, though. Did you tell him about Madara?”

Tobirama winced, knowing that the younger Uchiha wasn’t going to take the news well at all. “He already knew,” he said carefully. “He got a call from the hospital that he interns at. Madara has been admitted there. He was in a car wreck. He has a case of hypothermia and he’s unconscious. I’m about to head out and stay with him. You come in the morning when the snow’s stopped.”

The oncoming silence lasted for so long that Tobirama had to make sure that Izuna hadn’t hung up on him. When the other man finally spoke, his voice was cold and calm. “I’m not going to say that this is entirely your fault, Tobirama,” Izuna said quietly, “but it is partially your fault. The other part is on my older brother. You two need to get your shit straight when he wakes up. I’m serious. This is going too far.”

“I know,” Tobirama said. “I’m going to fix things as soon as he opens his eyes. This won’t ever happen again. I swear.”

“Get to him,” Izuna said curtly. “I’ll get off the phone so that you can get ready. Call me when you get there so that I know that you’re safe.”

“I will,” Tobirama promised before he hung up. He turned to the stove and saw that his pot was nearly boiling over. He shoved it to the back eye and shut the stove off. He rushed out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. He hurriedly put on his warmest socks, he thickest pair of boots, and his most insulated jacket before he snatched his keys off his dresser and quickly rushed out of the house.

Tobirama swore at the temperature and grimaced at the pace of the falling snow. There was no way that he was going to be able to drive. Madara wasn’t a horrible driver, and he’d ended up in a ditch. There was no way that Tobirama was going to be able to fair any better in a vehicle. He carefully walked down the steps and started down the driveway, quickly getting used to the sound of snow crunching underfoot. _Walking it is._

 

The trip to the hospital was a long and miserable one. Within minutes he wouldn’t feel his face. Halfway there, his feet were numb, and he wasn’t able to feel his hands. The snow never stopped falling, and it covered the sidewalks in a thick layer, making it hard to walk. By the time he saw the bright lights of the building, his calves were burning from exertion and his lungs and throat were burning from heavy breathing in such cold weather.

Tobirama was shivering profusely when he walked through the door. His teeth were chattering so hard that he just stood in the warmth of the waiting room and waited for the tremors to ease before he walked to the circulation desk. There was no way that he was going to risk talking before he had proper control over his body again.

When he felt his body calm and started to feel the burning sensation of his skin trying to heat back up, he forced himself to walk to the circulation desk. The woman looked up at him, and her eyes widened.

“What are your symptoms, sir?”

“I’m not here to be checked in,” Tobirama told her.

The look that she gave him made it very clear that she didn’t believe what he told her. “Are you sure about that?” she asked. “You might need to get checked out anyway. You look like you’re not well.”

“It’s cold outside,” Tobirama informed her coldly. He was much too anxious to see Madara to stand around, talking to her for any longer. “I’m here to see a patient that was brought in earlier from a car accident. Madara Uchiha.”

The woman gave him one last worried look before she looked down at her computer. She typed something down and he saw her move her mouse to some place on the screen. “He’s not receiving visitors right now,” she told him. “You can take a seat out here, however, and I’ll let you know when something comes up.”

Tobirama nodded.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Tobirama Senju,” he told her.

“Ah,” she said, a bright smile coming to her face. “You’re Hashi’s little brother, then. No worries, Tobirama. I’ll let you know as soon as he’s put in a room.”

“Thank you,” he said before he walked away from the circulation desk and toward the back of the waiting room. He took the closest open chair to a vent, wincing as the burning sensation intensified on his skin, but sighing in relief all the same. He would be sure to call Izuna the moment that he could feel his fingers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Not sure if this is going to be three or four chapters now. I'm still not too crazy about this fic, but hopefully I'll get the hang of it before next chapter. I hope you liked it anyway!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! This idea has been driving me up a wall for well over a month. I've done maybe three versions of this chapter alone and I still don't particularly like it, but oh well. At least it's much better than the first two. I'm planning on only one or two more chapters. It's definitely not going to be a long one. I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


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